Less than 2 weeks away from surgery date! November is here and the countdown is real. On the professional side, I know that this is the right decision for me. On the personal side, I am feeling anxious, nervous, excited, and scared. I am a person who LOVES order and structure in my life. This is going to be a test of trusting the unknown and having faith through this process. I also know that this process is going to be a test of my patience, perseverance, and positivity.
ROLLER COASTERS! This is exactly how I am feeling right now. The feeling that you have when you are waiting in line and excited about the upcoming thrill and then you get on the ride and you are scared out of your mind as the coaster inches up the initial first thrilling hill. As the date inches closer to the surgery, I feel like I am on the tallest, fastest, scariest, and thrilling roller coaster. One thing I do know about riding roller coasters, I am more likely to ride if someone else is also along for the ride. As the line moves, you feel your heart rate racing and your fear elevating. Yet you encourage each other to get on this ride, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.
No one in my family will be going through the process of getting a CI, but they will be along for the ride. I asked my kids the other day to join me on this roller coaster ride and share with me some of the thrills and trembling they have about their mom getting a CI.
Hannah is 13 years old and is my youngest. She is hopeful that I will hear much better with a CI and that I won’t regret it. Her “trembling” is that she is worried that the CI won’t work and that I will hear worse than I do now. Ethan is 17 years old and he believes that the CI is the right decision for me. He is thrilled to think that the CI will allow me to hear music better. I share their same thrills and tremblings! We also started brainstorming all of the things that I cannot hear currently (with my hearing aids)….birds, crickets, rain on the window, windshield wipers, breathing, lyrics, high pitched musical instruments, timers, silverware, pages in a book, typing on the keyboard, the “s” sound, the dog’s collar. Our family plans to keep a running list of all of the things that I don’t hear so we can celebrate each new thrill that I will hear with my CI.
In the upcoming weeks, months, and years, I am bracing myself to buckle up for the CI roller coaster ride! I am asking all family and friends to buckle up on this ride with me and help me through the ups, downs, and corkscrew turns that will come my way. Life is a rollercoaster!
We all face roller coasters in our own lives. Who will you ask to wait in line, buckle up, and experience the ups and downs of your life rollercoaster? It is much easier to get on the ride when you ask someone to join you!